Philosophical Post: Goo Hoarding

No pictures (or excuses for crappy pictures) today–I come to you bearing a more thought-provoking post. The wonderful Jenna Marbles recently did an awesome video concerning the things she doesn’t understand about girls–one of these being “goo hoarding.”

Goo hoarding refers to all our half-empty, half-used beauty products–shampoos, hair products in general, soaps, lotions, mascaras, lip glosses (especially), etc.–and our need to continually buy more of them. It’s a hilarious and pretty accurate term for this behavior.

Her video got to me because I definitely used to be a goo hoarder. In college, I had a bottle of shower gel that I shit you not, I retained for the entire four years, and even post-graduation. I moved with that half-empty shower gel FOUR TIMES. WHY!?!? WHY DID I DO THAT!? I had a plastic storage drawer full, FULL of half-empty body splashes. I think that one of the more notable parts of this behavior is that not only did I have so much, but I didn’t use them (and yet still kept them). I’d use up a lotion, then go buy a new one, despite still having like five other bottles.

The amazing thing is that I did all this unconsciously. I wasn’t hoarding on purpose–it was just thoughtless consumerism on my part. With college graduation came a desire for me to shed all the extra shit I had. I think moving five times in five years finally broke me. I spent the better part of a year disseminating these products. Some I focused on actually using, some were questionably old so I trashed them (my jojoba oil actually grew some kind of mold or fungus in it, which I accidentally applied to myself one day, that was fun), some I sold at garage sales, and others I pawned off to family and friends. I write this post now as the owner of one lotion, one mascara, and one body splash (and no shower gels). But getting rid of the previously-hoarded products wasn’t the only hurdle in the process. Like diets and living an uncluttered life and being a nice person and other difficult things, it’s a lifestyle change. Since my behavior was unconscious, I have to continually focus on not letting it happen again. I tend to get gifted lotion. This year alone I know I acquired at least five bottles of it–and I made sure that I actually used it, rather than tucking it away like I’m building a nest out of it, and buying something else.

I’m curious, internet–are you a natural goo hoarder? Is it something that doesn’t phase you, or have you ever tried to tackle the problem?


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