I must not tell lies. I love myself a nail polish collection/movie tie in. Some would probably argue that it’s a bastardization of whatever movie it’s connected with; I say that it’s a simple thing that can be ignored if one chooses, and will surely bring joy to some people. Plus, if it’s done right, with cool names and utilizing the color palette of the movie, I think it’s a really creative tie in (and I’m saying that as a movie lover, not just a nail polish addict).
The most recent collision of cinema and nail polish is China Glaze and The Hunger Games, but it certainly wasn’t the first. OPI is all up in the movies (sadly, it’s always been with films I don’t really care about–Burlesque, a Shrek sequel, a Pirates sequel, and most recently, The Muppets). Also, shoot me in the freaking foot if China Glaze’s Tronica collection wasn’t at least inspired by Tron: Legacy, even though there was no official tie in.
All of this has resulted in the inability for me to watch a movie without creating a nail polish collection for it in my head.
I recently did a marathon viewing of one of my most beloved movies, the Lord of the Rings. And this is the resulting nail polish collection that my brain produced. I tried to create pictures of them, but I lack photoshopping skills (plus, you know the promotional images never do collections justice), so you’ll have to make do with my descriptions, image inspirations (in case you want to fight with me about color choice), and your imagination. I also named them, because that’s half the fun. I didn’t want to OPIze them…you know how that would go. THAT would probably be the point of bastardization. “Don’t Be Shire,” “Uruk-hai, How Are You?,” “Bad Hobbits Are Hard to Break,” “This Orc That,” “Legolas My Eggo*,” “Eowynning,” and let’s not forget the classics “Lemonade Stand By Your Saruman,” and “Here Today, Gondor Tomorrow.” No, I tried to come up with slightly more respectful, but still fun names.
Shire! Baggins! – A green foil, of varying shades–mostly chartreuse, but with a tiny bit of a darker green, for depth and dimension.
Speak “Friend” And Enter – A dark blue/black cream that would flash pearlescent blue/white when the light hits it. Like the walls of Moria!
They Have A Cave Troll – No nail polish collection is complete without a sort of ugly/pretty color. This is a beige-putty cream. I couldn’t find a good picture, but trust me. Or go pop in your Fellowship DVD.
You Shall Not Pass! – I kinda wanted to call this, “Fly, you fools!” but I couldn’t really pass over one of the most famous quotes from the movie. This color is inspired by the Balrog. It’s be a black/red shimmer (with a bit of orange and yellow).
Lothlorien – Not the most creative name, but it doesn’t need to be because this would be crazy gorgeous. The base would be a dark blue jelly with fine sapphire shimmer, and larger, silvery blue-white pieces of glitter suspended in it.
Precious – The ring, duh. A metallic gold with an orange/red duochrome.
For Rath, Ruin, and the Red Dawn – Inspired by Helm’s Deep, when it’s raining, and the only lights are the torches of the Uruk-hai. A dark blue with orange (and a tteeeeeny bit of red) shimmer. This would be like Rescue Beauty Lounge’s Piu Mosso except it that on the nail, it would actually look like something was happening. (Again, this is not he best picture, but you know what I’m talking about–that scene is gorgeous.)
Last March of the Ents – The scene where the Ents march to Isengard is so cool, and beautiful. They’re sort of this sage, silverfied green. This would be a sage green/silver foil, with a bit of dark blue-green for depth.
I Am No Man – Inspired by Eowyn’s hair. And that badass moment when she takes off her helmet, lets it down, tells the witch king she is no man, and then stabs him in the face. A yellow-beige nude cream with white-golden shimmer.
Well, what do you think? Is my imagined collection insipid, or inspired? Offensive? Awesome? How do you feel about nail polish/movie tie ins? Are you more likely to buy the polishes if you like the movie, or is it simply a matter of whether or not you like the colors (but you’d totally buy an entire Harry Potter collection, right?)?
*Yeah okay, this one is awesome.